oh dear that is pathetic

i found (look at title) that a lot of things in my life are becoming noticably pathetic. i am not saying this in a bad way, well some of it but not all of it, unless u consider being pathetic a bad thing in which it would be all bad, but not bad to those u do not not think that it is bad but obviously some patheticness is always bad and no matter what u think is bad or not bad for u who do not think such things is always gonna be bad. don't think about that too much. AAANNYWAY. I found that I am paying attention to the guys in my classes more than what is going on in my classes. Thats gonna turn out ugly enventually, well they're not but my outlook on life is. I mean they're fun to look at but I really should be paying attention in clas so I don't completely flunk out. I would not be a happy person. I also found, (this is pathetic but not bad) that my friends, ppl who r reading this, are more like my family than my actual family. Speaking of family, I spent an hour of yesterday including dinner outside with my cats talking to them. It was actuallyy quite enjoyable. I think they r the best boyfriends I am ever going to have. You know on the AAR video for Dirty Little Secret and they say My biggest fear is that no one will ever love me as much as my dog. Yeah thats how i feel. I also found one other thing that is terribly pathetic. I found that I take things out on everybody and I feel really bad about that, but the thing that is the worst is that the people I love can't even take the time to comfort me. But yeah that sounds reallt selfish so i don't really expect much from them. It would just be nice every once in a while.